One Month

It has been one month today since our house fire. One long, hellish month.  Full of loss, tears, frustration, exhaustion, humility, generosity, and love.   A month of days that we sometimes didn't know how we would make it through.  But we are here, and we have made it.  One month behind us and hopefully one month closer to our forever home.

MJ and I have had a really rough day today.  So many emotions swirling.  So many thoughts racing through our brains.  So many new realities to adjust to.  We are tired, worn out, and missing what used to be.  We are thankful, blessed, and humbled.  And sometimes we don't know what we are, but that is OK.  We are navigating this together and it is a good thing we have each other.

Some thoughts on this one month anniversary:

*We continue to be humbled by the generosity of others.  There is no way that we would have made it through the last month without our family, friends, colleagues, local businesses and perfect strangers.  So many people have shown us so much love and support that they have carried us through the darkest days of our lives.  We would not be where we are without all of the love and support.

*We were happy to hear today that ServPro has finished cleaning, drying, and taking the smell out of the few things we salvaged.  We will have the stuff on Wednesday.  That means we will have some of our Christmas stuff.  Having that will be good for our souls.

*We haven't been back to the house in almost 2 weeks.  We need to go back soon as Drew wants his shovel and snowboard that were in the shed.  We need to get it for him before the snow gets too deep and we can't get to the backyard anymore.

*I get so tired of comments from people who have no idea what we are going through.  MJ took an insurance check to the bank the other day and the teller made a smart remark about how nice a check like that must be.  Yeah, real nice - only had to lose everything in the blink of an eye to win that lottery.  We go shopping to replace items and the cashiers make comments about how nice it must be to get so much Christmas shopping done or how nice it will be to have all this new stuff.  No thanks, I would rather just have my old stuff and not need to be dealing with this.  I know that these people are just being friendly and whatnot and they don't have any idea, but it makes you think before you make a comment about something that we really don't know what cross someone else is bearing in their day to day life.

*I miss my stuff.  I call bullshit on the statement that stuff can be replaced.  I don't want to replace it.  I don't want to have to shop for EVERYTHING.  No, it isn't nice to have everything new. It is just a constant reminder of what has happened. I want my old stuff - in my house, and I can't have it.  It sucks......big time.

*We are not as strong as we may appear to be.....everyone is so impressed with how well we are doing.  Well, we are good at keeping it together when we are out and about.  The reality is that we are done playing this game.....we don't want to play this game....we want to take our toys and go home.  And we can't.....and it hurts every single minute of every single day.   We have a great support system and for that we are very thankful, but it still is so very tough.

*We know that we will come through this OK on the other side, but the other side is still really far away.  The light at the end of the tunnel still seems nonexistent.  But we will keep plugging along and working to find our new normal.  We will make it through this together because really, there is no other way.

*Our boys are our heart and soul.  They are amazing, they are LOVE, they are magical.  They are what keeps us going.  We need them just as much as they need us.

So, there you have it......one month down......

We can do this..........................................